He looked at me as if I were some criminal who had committed a murder, and that deadly glare scared me. Except for Chhoti Maa-sa, no one has shown anger towards me.
All of these things are on one side as I am well aware that Hukum can do anything to me if he wants to, I may know how to fight back and defend myself but the man in front of me who stands tall, towering over my height and has the body so strong that can crush anyone if he wanted to, is my husband and of course I cannot hurt him if he punishes me or something.
While thinking all this, I noticed he was right in front of me, only a few inches apart. I lifted my face to look into his eyes, which were filled with anger, giving me the idea that he would kill me if I did something that he didn’t like.
“Humne aisi kya bhool kardi hai ki aap humare saath ek kaksh mein bhi nhi reh sakti? Aapko pasand karna humari bhool hai, aapko vachan dena ki hum aapke saath soyenge nhi ya bina anumati aapko… aapke nikat aana? Bataiye.“
“What mistake have I made that you don’t want to stay in the same chamber as me? Liking you is my mistake, promising you that I will not make love to you or without your permission… come near you? Tell me,“
Hukum said, and all I could do was stare at him blankly. It was then I realized that anger wasn’t the only emotion in his eyes, but there was… hurt, too. I could not form a reply to his question, and that’s when he continued,
“Bataiye ki humne kya bhool kardi? Pasand nhi hain kya hum aapko?“
“Tell me what mistake I have made? Don’t you like me?“
I lowered my eyes, listening to him. Why did he think that I didn’t like him? Of course, I do, he is so handsome and… Wait, what the hell am I even thinking?
I looked at him and said, “Aapne koi bhool nhi ki Hukum, aur humne Chandrapushp Mahal mein rehne ke liye haan nhi kaha tha, Maa-sa bass aapko chidha rhi thi, woh dekhna chahti thi ki aapko humare jaane se bura lagta hai ya nhi. Aapke iss gusse bhare mukh ne unhein unka uttar de diya. Hum kyun chahenge ki aapse door rahe? Parantu yadi aap chahte hain toh hum ch-“
“You haven’t made any mistake, Hukum, and I have not agreed to live in Chandrapushp Mahal. Maa-sa was just teasing you, she wanted to see whether you felt bad if I left or not. This anger-filled face of yours answered her question. Why would I want to stay away from you? But if you want, then I will le-“,
I stopped mid-sentence when he pulled me closer, extremely close, by holding me by my shoulders. My dupatta fell with the effect, and I looked at him in shock.
“Dobara humse door jaane ki baat ki aapne toh kabhi aapki or mudke dekhenge bhi nhi, patni hain aap humari, humse door nhi rahengi aap. Rani Mahal mein kayi patniyan rehti hain, aur aap humari iklauti rani hain, aur iklauti hi rahengi isliye iss rajya mein kewal humare kaksh mein reh sakti hain aap, aur kahin nhi.“
“If you ever talk about going away from me, I will never look at you, you’re my wife, and won’t stay away from me. Chandrapu-… Rani Mahal is used only when there are many queens, and you’re my only wife and will remain the same, that is why, in this kingdom, you can only stay in my room, nowhere else.“,
He had just said that I am his only wife and shall remain one, but I did not know why it sounded strange to me.
Obviously, it was his choice to marry as many women as he wanted to, but I am not among those who would share their husband with other women, who cannot even be called ‘other women’ because they are legally married.
I blinked when I realized that I was staring at him longer than I was supposed to. I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “Aap sach mein kewal ek hi rani rakhna chahte hain? Arthat… doosra vivaah nahi karna chahte?“,
“Do you truly want to keep only one wife? I mean, you don’t want to marry twice?” I knew how nervous I sounded at that moment, Indeed, some things happen only around your husband.
He smiled at me and asked in a low, calm voice, “Aapko kyun lagta hai ki hum doosra vivaah karna chahte hain? Humari toh koi iccha nhi hai doosra vivaah karne ki.“
“Why do you think that I will marry other women? I don’t have any wish to marry twice.”
“Hum… Humne dekha hai… Humare Bapu-sa ne teen (3) vivaah kiye tha, humare rajya mein kayi mantriyon ki bhi ek se zyada patniyan hain aur yahaan bhi humne mantriyon ke vishay mein suna tha daasiyon se.“
“I… I have seen… My father got married three times. In our kingdom, many ministers also have more than one wife, and here, I have heard about ministers from the attendees having more than one wife.“,
His face fell, and he made me sit on the couch with him. I looked at him and he said,
“Dekhiye Katha, humne humari Maa-sa ko toot-te hue dekha hai, humne unhein pitaji ke kaaran rote hue dekh hai, jab hum solah (16) varsh ke the tab humne bhi kayi aurton ke saath sambandh banaye hain. Hum bhi humare bapu-sa ki tarah hi the, parantu jab hum satrah (17) varsh ke the tab humne humari Maa-sa ko rote huye dekha tha. Uss din humein pata chala ki ek aurat kitna kuch sehti hai keval isliye kyunki unke pati ka unse mann bhar jaata hai. Uss din humne unhein vachan diya tha ki hum apne jeevan mein keval ek hi vivaah karenge aur kewal apni patni ke saath hi sambandh banayenge, tab se aaj tak humne kisi aurat ko haath bhi nhi lagaya hai.”
“Listen, Katha… I’ve seen my Maa-sa break down because of what my father did to her. When I was sixteen, I too had relations with many women, I was just like my Bapu-sa. But at seventeen, I saw my Maa-sa crying her heart out. That day, I truly understood how much a woman silently suffers when her husband loses interest in her. That day, I gave her my word—I would marry only once, and I would never be with any woman except my wife. Since then, Katha, I haven’t even touched another woman.”
I was startled by the information I had received. His mother had also endured so much, just like mine. This made me feel bad for her and happy that my husband is such a good son.
Many questions blurred my mind, and I could not help but ask, “Aapne apni Maa-sa ko vachan diya ki aap keval ek hi vivaah karenge aur hamein bhi aap par koi sandeh nhi hai Hukum, parantu yadi hum aapko putra nahi de paye toh? Hum abhi toh aapki iklauti patni hain, parantu yadi hum aapko putra nhi de paaye toh aapko toh doosra vivaah karna hi hoga Hukum kyunki har Raja ko varis chahiye hota hai. Tab kya aap doosri patni le aayenge?“”
“You promised your mother that you would only marry once, and I don’t have any doubts about you, Hukum, but if I couldn’t give you a son? I am your only wife right now, but if I am not able to give you a son in the future, then =you’ll have to marry again, Hukum, because every King needs an heir. Will you bring a second wife then?“,
I finished, and by the end of it, I knew that if he said a ‘yes’ to getting married once more, only for a son, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it at all, and I would end up just like my mother.
He sighed and held both my hands in his, and said,
“Aapko chinta karne ki awashyakta nhi hai Katha, yadi hum dono ka apna koi putra janm nhi leta toh humein koi apatti nhi hai. Ratan bhi toh kabhi vivaah karenge hi, hum unke putra ko apna varis bana denge, kyunki yadi hum doosri patni le aayein aur woh bhi hamein putra na de paaye toh hum kya karenge bataiye. Sirf ek putra ke liye aapka hriday dukhakar doosri patni ko bhi peeda dein kyunki hum unse prem nhi karte, hum aise nhi hain. Hum ek hi patni chahte hain aur woh aap hain, putra aap hamein de ya na de, isse humare prem mein koi kami nhi aayegi iska vachan hum aapko dete hain.“
“You need not worry, Katha. Even if we are never blessed with a son of our own, I have no objection. Ratan will marry someday too, we can name his son as our heir. Because tell me, what would we do if I were to take another wife and she too failed to give me a son? Should I wound your heart and bring pain to another woman as well, just for an heir, especially when I do not love her? I am not that kind of man. I want only one wife, and that is you. Whether or not you give me a son will never lessen my love for you. That is my promise to you.“,
I wanted to believe the fact that he wasn’t like my father, still, a part of me was stopping me from doing so. He smiled and said in a teasing tone,
“Waise, santaan chahe putra ho ya putri, uske janm ke liye kuch karna padta hai uske maata-pita ko, parantu aap toh humare saath kuch karna hi nhi chahti, toh hum soch rahe hain ki Ratan se kahe ki jaldi vivaah karlein, ek santaan ko janm dein taaki hum bade bapu-sa toh bane kyunki humari patni hamein ‘BAPU-SA’ banne ka sukh dena hi nhi chahti.“
“Well, whether it’s a son or a daughter, a child’s birth requires the parents to do something. But you don’t even wish to do anything with me. So, I’m thinking maybe I should ask Ratan to get married soon and have a child so that I can at least become a paternal elder uncle. Because clearly, my wife has no intention of giving me the joy of becoming a Father.“
