Hukum nodded, and the attendee left. He looked at me and came closer, holding my hands,
“Katha, the Royal Priest, my Guruji (teacher), is here. He is an intelligent person. As far as I can guess, he is here to test you, your knowledge, your intelligence, your behavior, and your worth… worth of being the Maharani of Vajrajanapur.”
Hukum said, and I could tell that I was in to prove myself to the Royal Priest, to my husband, to the people of this Kingdom, and most importantly, myself. If I prove my worth today, then surely that means that all the knowledge I have ever gained was fruitful.
I came out of my thoughts when he continued,
“Katha, my Guruji is very old. He has been the teacher of all the princes for 3 generations, he also taught my grandfather the same ethics as me. According to Bapu-sa, Guruji questions each Queen of Vajrajanapur to assess their knowledge. Only if he finds their answers impressive does he bless them and recognize them as a Queen; otherwise, he refers to them as Princesses, doubting their royal status. So far, he has never bestowed blessings on a Queen, not even my Maa-sa. I am hopeful for you.”
He said, with a little pressure on his words, I nodded and said,
“Don’t worry, Hukum, I will do my best to give the relevant answers. Your hopes won’t go in vain,” he smiled and kissed my knuckles, and then left to go meet Guruji.
As soon as Hukum left, I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. I closed my eyes, and the events of whatever happened came rushing into my mind. I smiled at the thought of the kiss we had shared, but suddenly remembered what he told me about himself.
He has had the life of a spoilt prince, not for long, but he did. He has slept with many women, as he phrases it. It was definitely very heartbreaking to learn about Maa-sa’s past. Hukum is indeed a good son, there is no doubt about that, but I must admit that I have my doubts regarding his desires.
The truth about his past surprised me, leaving me to wonder about the man I was now married to. The image of him as the Prince who had once led a life of indulgence was hard to reconcile with the King who had promised me his unwavering loyalty.
My thoughts drifted back to the memory of my father, a king who had married multiple times, only for the sake of a male heir. The pain and suffering I had witnessed in my own family, the pain of my mother, even though I have never met her, and the pain of my step-mothers while living with each other and having no respect from my father, their husband, only because they are childless.
But Hukum was different. His words, though surprising, had carried a sincerity that was hard to deny. His promise to remain faithful, his vow to cherish our marriage, had left me with a sense of hope and unexpected security.
As I reflected on his words, I realized that there was some feeling inside my heart that was deepening with each passing moment I spent with him. His commitment to me, his determination to protect our marriage, was a testament to the man he had become, not the man he once was.
As much as I want to trust him, I will have to make sure not to lose my self-respect while desiring the love and life I want for myself.
Whilst thinking all these things and how my future might end up becoming I suddenly remembered something he had told me whilst telling me about his past.
“Tab se aaj tak humne kisi aurat ko haath bhi nhi lagaya hai.”
“Since then, I haven’t even touched any woman.”
He was seventeen when he had slept with a woman last time, and as per I know, now he is twenty-nine.
Wait!!!!
It has been TWELVE YEARS since he hasn’t touched any woman, this means that staying in control all these years must have been hard for him, and if that is so, then I guess I am in for a very harsh night whenever the time comes.
All those things conclude several other things, like if I am going to seduce Hukum and make him lose control, it might result in him losing complete control over his desires, and it might be something ‘not so good’ for me then, but also that he has practiced celibacy for years now, maybe he might never loose control, which makes me safe.
Sitting in the chamber and only thinking about the past and possibilities, it felt like I was stuck in a web of so many things at once. It feels as if my life and everything around me are testing my patience and my way of coping with those tests.
I took a deep breath and stood up from the couch to move toward the window of our chamber that gave a direct view of the garden. I stood there and noticed the sharp sunlight, indicating that it was now going to be evening in a few hours.
I smiled, looking at the environment outside the window. It was perfect. I moved toward the garden area of our chamber. I went inside and sat near the pool, slightly playing with the cold water in it. Somehow, my mind was relaxed, more than ever, and I didn’t know why, but there was a part of me that was feeling extremely good today.
Maybe it was because of the love that Maa-sa gave me, maybe it was because my husband did not want to lose me, or maybe this lovely feeling was because of the intimacy we shared today. Thinking about that, I could still feel Hukum’s lips on mine, the way he kissed me was thrilling, and my heart wanted to feel that again.
I can still feel him inhaling from my neck, the way he did it. I can still feel the way he tightened the hug when I hugged him. Well, I did so because there was a part of me that wanted to be in his embrace, and the urge to hug him was sudden.
I knew I was smiling like a mad woman with all the thoughts lingering in my head but I couldn’t help it, I lay down on the floor near the pool and closed my eyes to remember those moments, to feel him again, to feel Hukum kissing me passionately, hugging me tightly and nuzzling in the crook of my neck. It was all lovely to remember, and right now I can only wonder how good it might feel when we slowly break the barriers of intimacy and become truly one. I can only imagine how we will become shameless and be in each other’s embrace for whole nights, perhaps.
I shuddered at the thought when I almost imagined him on top of me, naked and intimate. I opened my eyes and sat straight, trying to calm my racing heart.
I took deep breaths and as I was about to stand up to leave the garden area, I heard a faint voice of my name, and I could tell it was Hukum because no one would call me using my name.
I stood up and for the first time, I didn’t feel like there was any need to take the dupatta over my head, it was Hukum outside. I walked out to the door of the area, and just as I opened it, I saw him standing there ready to open the door.
He smiled at me and I returned it to him. Hukum held my hand in his and took me to our bedroom. He made me sit on the bed, and I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows as I couldn’t understand his now serious face.
Breaking the silence, I asked him,
“What happened, Hukum? Did the meeting with Guruji not go well? Why are you so serious?”
He sighed and said,
“Oh, the meeting went well, it’s just that Guruji says he wants to meet you and see whether you are a worthy Queen or not. I told him that I have all my faith in you, and he just nodded, so yes, the test is going to be very tough. I wish you luck, my love.”
I smiled,
“Don’t worry Hukum, I know that your Kingdom is the most prosperous Kingdom in the entire Hind, no doubt that Guruji wants to know whether you got a worthy Queen or not, I assure you, I will not disappoint any of you and make sure to prove that your family did not make the wrong choice by choosing me as your Wife.”
He nodded, kissed my forehead, and said,
“Okay, so now I have to be in court as Guruji wants to start with his ‘prove your worth’ game, and I have to see all that not as your husband but as the King of this Kingdom. I hope you pass the test with all the glory.”
I nodded at him, and he stood up to get dressed in the attire of the court. I did the same by adjusting my jewelry and my dupatta to my nose. With a smile, I reached for his outstretched hand, and we walked out of the chamber together.
There were several questions in my mind, but I wasn’t nervous at all. I had faith in myself, faith in the teachings of my Guruji, who always had an unwavering faith in me, more than what he had in Bhai-sa. I remember that he used to say,
“Jab samay aayega toh tum woh kar dikhaogi jo karne ki himmat koi nahi rakhta, humein tumpar vishwaas hai aur hum apni jaan daav par lagakar bhi keh sakte hain ki tum woh Rani banogi jo Hind ke itihaas mein apne naam ka sunehra panna swayam likhegi.”
“When the time comes, you will do what no one else dares to do. I have faith in you, and I can confidently say that you will be the queen who will write her golden chapter in the history of Hind by her hand.”
